Addictive Sex vs. Enjoying Sex

The person who is struggling to overcome sex addiction can overcome their addiction if stopped correctly. Not only their life improves overall, their sex life greatly improves also. Twelve-steppers and psychotherapists advise sex addicts to refrain from all forms of sex including having loving sex with their partners for certain amount of time in hope of stopping their sex addictions. That leads the sex addict person deeper into their sexual addictive behavior because it encourages addictive behavior. In other words a starved man is told to go on a diet in order to achieve his health. Celibacy is not the answer to overcoming an sex addiction.

Natural sex is not something to feel guilty about. It is not something to be denied or resisted. But it is something that can be abused. When the natural need for sex is abused it becomes an addictive compulsion. Once you become addicted, the natural desire for genuine, loving sex is overwhelmed by the addictive compulsion to escape. Which brings us to the question: Escape what? In a word: "life." In a phrase: "the troubles, difficulties and hassles of living." When sex is used as an escape it is not really a pleasure. It's a relief. There is a profound difference between pleasure and relief. Relief is like banging your head against the wall because it feels good when you stop. Pleasure is the enjoyment of a healthy mind and body. The difference between addictive sex and natural sex is the difference between screwing and making love. When you screw someone you use their body to provide you with a thrill. When you make love you are emotionally involved. Your body is an expression of the feelings you have for that person. Their body is an expression of the feelings they have for you. Addictive sex screws you. Natural sex spiritually nourishes you.

Addictive sex screws you because:
-It overwhelms your need for natural sex.
-It entices you into a life of compulsion.
-It fills you with fantasies that can never come true.
-It puts up a barrier between you and reality.
-It separates you from real emotions.
-It teaches you to hide, to sneak and to live with shame and guilt.

Natural sex is not shameful. It doesn't lead to guilt. It entices you to enjoy life and to enjoy yourself and your partner. It fills you with real emotions, not fantasies. It teaches you to love life.
-Going to prostitutes is a definite sign of sexual addiction.
-Using pornography to the extent that you neglect your partner in real life is another sign of sexual addiction.
-Or using pornography as a substitute for real sex is still another indication of being sexually addicted.
-Masturbation can be also indicate sexual addiction.

You don't have to be a genius to overcome a sexual addiction. You only need two things:
-First, a desire to make your life better.
-Then, a willingness to be honest with me about yourself.
Combine those qualities with good counseling and you are on your way to overcoming your addiction and enjoying the greatest sex there is.