Advise on Sex Addictions

Someone who has never had a good relationship needs to find out why they are having difficulty building an intimate relationship. Your bigger problem is not your sex addiction. Your bigger problem is lack of intimacy. Building a relationship takes time and effort. Sex addiction is easy. You can turn on the fantasy world, get sexual satisfaction and stay in the house.

One thing I can tell you is looking in your past and where the problem rooted form won't help you overcome your addiction. That is one of the many reasons why people fail at overcoming any addiction. I suggest, instead of looking for solutions first understand the problem. Sex addiction is a very complex addiction. As you age ever-so-quickly you might act addictivly for the rest of your life. No matter how much will power you have will power wont help you stop your addiction. I am sure you already know that from your experiences. I know because I overcame sex addiction 15 years ago. Now I have the oppturtunity to help others.

I have some bad news and good news for you. Lets take care of the bad news first...if you dont overcome your addiction correctly you will probably act addictvely for the rest of your life. However the good news is you can overcome your addiction. To stop your porn/masturbation addiction its gonna take more than liking someone very much. It is not you, it is HOW you are trying to stop your addiction. I overcame my sex addiction 15 years ago. It took me years to discover the info to stop sex addiction. So what you want to do now is get competent help, who can actually help you stop and stay stop for good OR you can continue on your own trying to stop...but before getting advice from someone who hasn't overcome a sex addiction themselves, because sex addiction is very complex, you are much better trying to stop on your own than who hasn't a clue about sex addiction.

The sooner you get help the better because addictions get worse... they do not fade away overtime. One thing I can tell you is your addiction does not "cause" you to do crazy things. It is YOU who do things like cheat and get you into situations where you are leaving yourself open to feel things for other people. Your problem requires professional help but it can be overcome relatively quickly. Make sure you get help that meets your demand and need and not some behavior modifications,therapy, etc. because from my work (as an addiction counseler for past 15+ yrs) I know wrong advice can make things a lot worse. If you want my help please contact me.  Also if you are wondering why you are an exhibitionist it is because you have an intimacy problem. I can also help you with relationship problems.

There are different types of sex addictions masturbation, infidelity, porn, promiscuity, pedophilia, etc. Your addiction seems to be promiscuity. But underneath your real problem is unable to build an intimate relationship with someone. Lets be real and look at sex. By nature sex is meant to be enjoyed as a loving intimate experience. When you have sex you express your love physically with someone who you love but if you use sex as a thrill, a way to have fun or a way to solve personal problems it becomes an addiction overtime. One night stands mean you just want to feel good without any emotional attachment which of course overtime becomes an addiction.

No longer looking at porn will not help you remove guilt/regrets. Eventually you will soon go back to looking at porn and then masturbating to it. Because masturbating to porn gives you more pleasure than making fantasies in your head. Your real problem is not porn it is masturbation. Lots of people conclude that the real problem is porn and not masturbation. They are wrong. You masturbate during porn because you use porn to experience the sexual pleasure of masturbation. Porn is not the reward. Masturbation is. Alcoholics don't drink to experience the taste of alcohol. They drink for the experience of getting drunk. You don't use porn because you like photography, or you like to read magazine articles or you want to learn about video production. Porn doesn't appeal to you because you're interested in studying human anatomy. You use porn to experience the pleasure of masturbation.

We do not have control over addictions. What masturbation, porn, fantasy does is it takes over your life and it hurts your relationship with your wife or gf. Even if she does not know about your addicted behaviors. Some people become so obsessed and consumed by porn, masturbation that they lose the ability to have sex with their partner. I hope you realize that before it is too late. And for all the people out there sending messages like masturbating everyday is perfectly normal I am gonna set the record straight ANYTHING I repeat anything can be used as an addiction including sleep, exercise, reading, listening to music, talking, cooking, cleaning, watching tv, shopping. Anything.

No one starts addictive behavior expecting to become hooked. Admitting that you have a problem is a first step to overcome your addiction. To overcome masturbation and porn addiction it takes time and if you do not stop correctly you will make things worse.  Some addictions can be overcome quickly if not immediately while others take time. I agree that you don't need more tools on how to curb your appetite or a larger support system of people. I know that does not work. What you need to learn is how to deal with sex addiction on your own without any support system. In other words what you want to learn is something that will help you face your appetite no matter how strong or under any circumstances and cope with it without acting on it and feel good about doing it.

Just to accept the addiction and try to live with it is one of the options of an addict who has tried numerous times to stop but has failed. While it is not a good option it is a option. However, if you stop your addiction correctly then you stay stopped and it feels wonderful just to know that you have control over your addiction and you don't have to waste your percious time, energy, health, money to this addiction anymore. Overcoming an addiction is one of the best things a person can do I know because I overcame four addictions myself including sex addiction.

I would be lying if I said to you that you can stop your sex addiction by just really putting up a fight like hell. As you know from your own experiences no matter how good your intentions are you reach a point where you do not care what you have to do in order to get your addiction. The good news is you can overcome this problem no matter how bad your childhood may have been but it is going to take some time and some competent guidance from someone who has personally dealt with this problem himself. I overcame four addictions myself including sex addiction.

Let me get right to the point your lack of sex with your partner is caused by lack of emotional interest in your partner. If you want great sex first build great relationship with her and it will lead to great sex. The lack of sexual attention from your girlfriend does not drive you to constant use of pornography only YOU drive yourself to use it. Everybody makes their own choices you make your own choices. You are not trapped for the rest of your life (even though lots of addict think that way because they have failed to stop over and over again) you can overcome your addiction, but it takes time and proper guidance.